He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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