The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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