More tranny stories later!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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