We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
