sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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