her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
