Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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