When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
