dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize