Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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