I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
