I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
