I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
