I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
