hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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