Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
