Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
