talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
