You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
