Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
