I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
