my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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