I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
