We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
