arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
