so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
