drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
