This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
