Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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