i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
