She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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