Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I met the friendliest cop last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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