I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
