This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
