You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
