We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
