He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
