So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
