hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
