Me too!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My vagina is officially offended.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
