Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
