The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
