Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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