first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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