you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
