You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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