hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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