one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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