like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
