Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
