Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
