i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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