There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You are the jesus of drinking
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
