Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
