I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize