Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize