Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i will never coherently bang her
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize