The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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