Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
so much tequila, so little girl.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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