Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
