there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
