What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
